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Names and Dates and TimesMay 07 no sleep. new blog.leave a comment if anything at all pops into your head. tell me how much you hate my ranting, or what color your sock are. whatever. April 10 a collection of FAQ's.the most ridiculous questions of all time include (but are not limited to):
April 08 Marketing tactics.With their pathetic 13 month average battery lives, contant stream of "new" products forcing buyers to purchase a new product at least once a year if they wish to stay up to date, and strangly incompatible audio formatting (.ACC), Apple has been repeatedly accused of planned obsolescence for its controversial Ipods. (But at least there's no planned obsolescence for rapacious capitalism.) The ipod nano's have their batteries soldered to the fucking case, so even if you were thinking about maybe trying to replace that battery that crapped out after 13 months of real-world use yourself, well, unless you happen to have a soldering iron.. good luck. Luckily, the larger models only use adhesive, and you can buy battery replacement kits online for around $20. The .ACC audio formatting is fucking stupid. Programs do exist, however, that can extract all that music from your Ipod back onto a PC, but you either have to illegally download or pay a rather obscene amount of money for them. Apple is constantly coming out with "newer" and "better" technology that forces consumers to buy new Ipod products about once a year if they wish to stay up to date, or "in fashion". No, i do not give a shit about fashion. But if i drop $500 on an 80 gig device the size of my hand, and Apple comes out with a 200 gig product the size of a golf ball 9 months later, i am going to be royally fucking chapped. Unfortunately, i haven't the resources nor the political sway to sue the bastards, in the event that such a misfortune did occur. I may have just ruined that for myself. I am still planning on purchasing an 80 gig model, mainly because everything else on the market is just as bad. At least there's no planned obsolescence for rapacious capitalism. Score. April 05 University Dental CareHello, I recently had my wisdom teeth taken out on March 19th at your office.
Unfortunately, my mouth is now rotting. The sutures fell out within a few days, and there is now a crater in the back of my mouth that hasn't healed shut. It is between my cheek and gum, and runs diagonally downwards. It goes very deep and is too small to rinse out, yet large enough for food debris to snuggle into. It appears to have healed open; everything else is healed shut completely. Within this lovely crater there is an accumulation of rotting food particles, despite the fact that i have been chewing on the left side of my mouth and rinsing thoroughly with an antiseptic mouth rinse that should have been prescribed along with the painkillers. This lovely rabbit hole is becoming infected, and my breath smells like sulphur. Even more unfortunate is the fact that I live 20 hours drive away from your clinic. The chief purpose of my trip to Edmonton was to visit your practice to have my wisdom teeth removed by someone who knew what they were doing. I cannot come back there for it to be fixed. I need you to arrange for one of the clinics in Smithers, where I live, to have it fixed right away. Reply ASAP, please. My mouth is becoming dangerously gangrenous, and I smell mal-practice. Sincerely, Sarah Schenker.
P.S.
I have attached a few pictures so that you can see what needs to be done. carbon monoxide in my pancakes.i'm sick of poisonous breakfasts. where are my cigarettes.
meanwhile..
children of mensters.what this world needs is to
stop. we need to stop breeding and creating the next generation of fucked up monsters. we are well-meaning, but we are monsters. we need to stop having children. we cannot hope to instill any sort of values or morals or intelligent character traits into the youth of today! we are twisted, and every new generation that we spawn carries all the baggage of the world on their shoulders; they grow up learning to create their own. can we suppose that we can free ourselves from this horrible destiny? can we hope to throw away the chains binding us to the sins of our fore-fathers? we can't single out the "good" parents, our conditioning would interfere with our decisions, and voila: a whole new generation of people fucked up just like the persons who chose the "good" parents. we are all conditioned, and none of it is good. every civilised nation on this groaning earth needs
to
stop.
we need to waste away until we have removed our offending presence from this planet, and leave it to the native peoples with their indiginous culture to repopulate this earth.
oh.
didn't we destroy those people?
oops. March 15 the abolition of manthe latest.
also, a rare appearance by my favorite guest author today, kim.
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| | \ / March 13 UNIVERSITY DENTAL CLINIC! WE ARE OPEN OPEN OPEN!something valuable i've learned of late:
do not take ANY establishment with a neon, vegas-style sign seriously.     just do not do it.
unless you are specifically LOOKING for a bunch of fucking head-cases.
which i am going to assume you aren't.
be clickin' here to see what i mean.
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| \ / yeah, i know it's a one way street. go!thank you, city of edmonton, for designing such a competent, well-maintained set of roadways.
March 07 The Way It Is: Bribery, Promises, And Blatant Lies.After a long night of searching for an open club that wasn't over-capacitated, hustling strangers for coke, ditching slimy men and trying to avoid the rampaging fuzz, we retired to the penthouse to order pizza and wait for cocaine. It was at this point, somewhere between discovering the red bills in my wallet which should have been transformed into liquer in my stomach by then, and watching a half-eaten date bounce off the center of my forehead in the reflection in the window, that i realised i had to leave Vancouver.
I knew i could hit up the man in Edmonton for a bus ticket, and i recalled a few hits of acid burried somewhere amongst the mdma and my deoderant. However, getting the bus ticket would require the unobliging presence of two young children located in Asia-mond (formerly known as Richmond, before Asia emmigrated). I had to think. I made coffee and hit the street to aquire vodka and ciggarettes. The local juice shop was unwilling to assist me in my endeavour however, so i begain formulating a heist as i waited for my accomplice to return from the depths of Metrotown. She had been on a crusade of her own; a more legal sort. Nonetheless, it was time to stop screwing the dog and get down to business. The biggest of my problems was obviously going to be getting the two young females onto the bus. They had to arrive cheerful and alive, so i was really up against a brick wall. The tactful thing to do would be to show up unnanounced when the gaurdians weren't around, and proceed to lay down bribery, promises, and blatant lies. I was fairly certain that it would be against protocol to slip anything into anyone's drink, so that left handcuffs and lollipops.
I was somewhere between Smithe and Granville when it hit me: this was going to be the most expensive unlawful aquisition of underage females that i had ever participated in. I was clearly going to need funding, and i was equally certain that there weren't any sort of organizations i could hit up for sponsorship. Public transit it was, then. I could easily make enough to buy off the snooty liquer distribution agents and have enough left over for my kidnapping dilema in under an hour of wallet relocation. As much as i loathed the thought of working for cash, i was well aware that a woman needed to do something to survive when she was sick of slimy men.
My assistant arrived with an unnamed male's boxer shorts in her bag and a dangerous look on her face. I refrained from asking and we went upstairs to regroup. We drank cold coffee and blueberry juice without vodka, shot the shit, then went to a coffee joint to watch the crack-head downtime shifts and jack a wireless signal. Talk centered around strange social phenomena, but we managed to discern that appealing to materialistic desires would almost certainly procure the price of said bus ticket, namely, the children in question.
Once in Edmonton, the plan was to get some dental work done so i'd have an excuse to milk pain-killers out of the white-coats. I knew they would sell for a pretty penny back up North, and with the money i made, i'd be able to track down the dreadlocked elf who had disappeared with a hunk of my cash the size of my thigh and promptly fallen through on his end of the trade.
Meantime, i desperately needed to find some PCP and a handgun. February 15 utilizeComments
http://buddhastic.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!315092A0093D61C0!1167.trak midnight scene.womb-like lighting lingers casually about the room; dim, reddish warmth. a moth throws herself deliriously against a single heated bulb, flapping and slapping clapping her exoskeleton into the glass. womb-like lighting lingers seductively long after moth balmy brilliance fallen still. February 09 flypapersmoke curls away from my lips in a lazy pattern, snickering softly at me as i shiver inside my jacket. i lean my head against a garbage can and i can hear the trash talking; rummaging and arguing and there, at the bottom, a crushed soda can humming some sort of sailor shanty. i wonder briefly what's going on inside my head, but i haven't got much of a desire to investigate. what if nothing's there? what if nothing is going on inside my head. how would i explain myself? i will wait until a big green monster with pimples and yellow teeth takes a bite out of me. or at least until i see you again, so i can take a big green bite out of you. i wonder when it was that we all turned into assholes, and then i wonder if maybe it's just me. but i haven't even been practising lately, i'm rusty as an old tire iron. where are you my monster. now's the time. February 07 never look a cat in the eyes. never look a cat in the eyes.strange life, being obligated to things. appointments. bills. firewood. red tape. etiquette. social hierarchy. your recommended daily intake of studies. shopping mall manners/facades. money, for fuck's sake. i am obligated to that shit. i am morally and legally bound: hog-tied with a steel cable, to the energy of red bills in my wallet or a soothing number on my bank statement. these bitter tasting ideas are shoved repeatedly into my mouth (deep throat it, bitch!) by a force we've all been taught to black out of our realities, to surrender to, to enjoy. indisputably essential conditions of the most pushed reality since the 60's. they are unquestionably real, there can be no life outside them, for That Is How Is It. i had a dream about christmas the night before last. i woke up thrashing, feverishly wondering what the fuck i was going to get for an ex-boss who is still a very prominent figure in my life. i dreamed about christmas again last night. i was frantically wrapping presents at the last possible second, heart pounding in my ears. you handed me something that looked like a wrapped turkey, but turned out to be a head of cauliflower. (this may be a good thing. i've developed a minor obessive compulsion to eat vegetables for every meal.) it seems i am painfully obligated to life. what do i do? February 06 barriers/boundariesif i look out the little rain splattered window, around the propeller and down, i can see the wrinkled perfection of the mountain ranges like the face of a newborn; womb-crinkled and hungry.
it must be interesting trying to keep an aircraft, full of people certain they are going to die, in the air. maybe though, the sheer speed of the plane cleanses the energy of the little container before it can infiltrate much more than the poor soul seated next to you. there was nothing left to say in that empty bar, no mortor left to cement the socially responsible wall between us. i felt my defenses fading, and when i looked at you to see if you noticed, i realised that in 4 hours we would be thousands of miles away from one another, and only our ghosts would be left at this table asking each other where our bodies had gone. everything fell away as i leaned over and.. leaned over and guided your ear to my lips with my finger under your chin, cautiously, like you might prove to be a dream if i were to loose my resolve and hold you too tightly. and this time instead of mortor my words came as a wrecking ball, destroying the careful wall we had been erecting between our bodies, brick by thieving brick. do you know what i'm thinking right now and this plane lurches away from your liquid eyes? how can the pilots maintain cruising altitude when my stomach weighs mountains and my whole being is anchored to the floor of the harbour you sail for? a feverish ache grips my hips, throat, and fingers. when i get home i will look at your picture and remember you whispering into my hair, remember the feeling of your body succumbing to sleep next to mine. when i get home, kicking snow from my boots and dropping my backpack onto an indignant cats twitching tail, i will remember that we've just been enthralled by the impossibility of our chance meeting. i will remember that you did not have brown eyes. |
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